Patricia L. Watts

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Gifts I am Giving Myself This Christmas

26 Nov

No, I am not shopping for myself. Okay so maybe I am, but I am not showing you that list here. The gifts I am giving myself this holiday season are ones that I’ll be needing and using all year long. And they are gifts that you might decide you need to gift yourself as well.

  1. An Organized Space — Okay so this one might take a lot of work and a little bit of shopping, but if I have a space that feels comfy and cozy and that actually lets me do things on my desk as well as manages to look good on camera that will be an amazing space for creation and motivation throughout the year.
  2. Completed Projects — I make lists.  TONS. OF. LISTS.  I can plan the hell out of a project…or a trip for that matter.  But it is a rare thing that a large project is seen to completion.  That changes starting this Christmas.  I am going to pick at least one project a month to see to completion.  FOR THE RECORD: This month’s project is getting this site really off the ground.  I know that this may roll over into December BUT I will be able to look back at this month and this project and see massive, massive amounts of progress.
  3. The Freedom to say YES — I am tired, beyond tired really, of letting other people control my schedule…sometimes using tactics that I won’t discuss here… not yet, anyway.  If I want to do something, i am going to find a way to make it happen.
  4. The Freedom to say NO —  If I give myself the freedom to say yes, then I should also give myself the freedom to say no, right?  So, if I don’t want to go to a family dinner, or if I don’t feel up to meeting with someone.  I am going to say no.  If I disagree with something, I am going to say NO and stick to it. AND, and this is the tricky part, I am going to do my best to offer a reason when one is needed during the aforementioned disagreements and to put it forward in a rational manner.  The sad part is that I can already tell you that staying rational is going to be damn near impossible when certain situations come up.  On those occasions I can only promise to hold my ground.
  5. The Freedom to be hurt and angry — There is a lot going on in my personal life, a lot that I am not ready to share here.  But for YEARS I have been stuffing my emotions, and admittedly shopping my emotions, and that HAS TO END.  If I need to be angry and not hide that, then you’re going to see me angry.  If I have been wanting to yell at you for years…WATCH OUT.  I’m not holding back any more.  I really don’t care the bridges that burn or how many fatalities are on said bridges.
  6. Financial Freedom — If I’m going to stop shopping my emotions, then I need something else to treat as my current must have.  One by one those must-have items are going to be paid off debts.  The fantastic part about this will be that even if I can’t “afford” the entire bill at once, the payment centers will let me pay what I can…as long as I give them a minimum amount each month.  I also have other things that I am considering as bills and when I get everything that I have in my personal notes paid off or stashed for…well, that’ll be another post

And there is at least one more, big gift but I’m keeping that one all wrapped up for now.

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Categories:
Life with a Blue Badge, Mental Health Moment, On My Mind

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